thoughts i had today in the bath part 1 - sham poo

Hello mr l'oreal, mrs herbal essences, monsieur pantene et al,
I don't accept that my hair is rebellious, frizzy, dull, or dry.
Please make shampoo for someone who thinks their hair is 'gloriously fucked up', or 'simply fabulous' (I'm not claiming mine is, or if I am then I accept I'm delluded). Or how about 'a bit dirty', or 'needs a wash'. I would just like to be represented in the shampoo market, as I sat in the bath today surrounded by an array of half empty bottles I just didn't feel me and the the shampoo matched. let's be a bit more positive about ourselves rather than applying these negative adjectives.
I think this idea could be a goer actually, I hereby copyright it.

Nor do I accept that my skin is either dry or oily.
What else...?
I don't want to fill these lines that appear on my face with substances claiming to resemble concrete. Although I acknowledge that I am but a young thing and might be grateful for these potions at some point.
I'd like to accept cellulite in a calm and rational manner and not be encouraged to resort to frantic, desperate, complicated methods of trying to rid myself of it. Because, really what's wrong with it in the first place, surely this is all just a matter of perception?
And finally I'd like to say that I really like my bodily hair and resent this insipid notion that being 'hair free' is an ideal state of body. I think it's a bit sick. When I shave my legs, I think my knees look like two bald men. I realise I may one day have to relocate to a country where they share my views on hairiness, because most brits certainly don't.

Wow, I was only intending to talk about shampoo. This is a right can of worms!
erm...
yeah. nice.